guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
