Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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