theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
