Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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