There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
