my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
