Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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