talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
