ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
