I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
