Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Randomize
