..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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