lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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