This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
