no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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