sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
