and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
