Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
