I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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