I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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