Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Randomize
