he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
