he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
