People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
