so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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