He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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