Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
