my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
