TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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