Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Randomize
