just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
