i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
