Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
