are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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