He asked me if I "almost moaned"
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's shark week go big or go home
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
