the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
