Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
