If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
