I can tuck mytits in my pants
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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