I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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