You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
