Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I love you. Go after that dick
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
