Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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