he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
