If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
