Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
