Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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