WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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