Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
