His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
